My friend is getting married next week.

I am happy to say…
I have escaped bridesmaid hell
I have to find a dress
And the perfect gift.
I am one of those annoying people…
Who do not buy gifts on the registry
I love registries…
I get my gift ideas from them.

I actually love weddings
I love the romantic notion of love
I love parties
I love pretty dresses
And cake…when it is divine good cake
And dancing
And the old people have fun
And flowers
I love wedding flowers
And sparkles
And diamonds
And glitter…
And diamonds
I love weddings

I am jealous…
Of engaged woman
And all of the attention
That engaged woman get
The pretty big rock
And the party planning
And the gifts…
The registries…
The gifts
Shopping for a dress..
And showing off the ring..
And the wedding shower
Where you can get a big ass KitchenAid Mixer
And 5000 count sheets
And pretty china (that most people will never use)
And the excitement and the happiness

I have never been engaged
And honestly…
I think the engagement, shower, huge wedding planning thing…
Is like a big freight train..
That once on…you cannot jump off.
People invest so much in a wedding
That it is hard to change your mind..
And get off the train.

I did help someone get off the train once
And it was the hardest thing
But it took me and a friend
To tell her, that the problems she had now,
Were not going to go away
And maybe it helped..
That we were friends with the groom-to-be.
She called it off…
A week after the invitations went out
And it was for the best.

So...if I ever get married…
I would love to have a pretty wedding..
I always joked I would have to be barefoot and pregnant
To get me to the aisle
I would love a simple wedding
With glitter
And flowers..
And cake…

I could finally get a big ass KitchenAid Mixer

But maybe…
I can buy my own!