Thursday, May 31, 2007

The year of mental anguish

So the major depression reoccurring and out of control anxiety...maybe Bipolar II?

This has been such a hard year:
New diagnosis
New life
New stressors

I have had friends tell me that I seem fine
How could I be ill?
Even my psy doctors comment on the amount of drugs I am on
That exceeds most people my age

My experience with the challenges I had faced
Securing my own wellness
Had given me the desire to work in social services.

I have always worked in social service agencies
But as an assistant or Finance Manager
I still have headhunters calling me
Regarding my Controller/ Accounting and Budget Management skills
I still have coworkers from my old job (going through an audit)
Calling me for help...six months after I quit (before I was fired)

After my bosses excessive discrimination after my hospitalization
Many has suggested that I file a complaint
And seeing is that my coworkers are still contacting me for help
After much contemplation that many may do after nearly terminating their own life
I decided that accounting was not a good fit for me
That advocacy was a passion of mine
And I wanted to work as a case worker for those with severe disabilities
I am currently working, as a skills trainer, in a agency that serves
individuals with MR or development disorders...and other co-occurring disorders
Many of the are emotional/Psy issues, consumers with legal/ felon concerns
And other handicaps

Currently I work in a IRA (group home) with 5 MR individuals, three with trauma histories, three with serious visual handicaps (included one individual who is completely blind), one with a pervasive developmental disorder, and two with psy disorders.

However, Sometimes I wonder if earning a licenced clinical MSW is appropriate considering my own psy disabilities.


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