Wrong drug, wrong dose, wrong route, wrong person?
It is the end of my first semester in social work grad school.
I am taking four classes, and a 16 hour a week field placement
Of which I am 40 something odd hours behind.
I started a month late, and I have caught up 20 hrs
But the extra day at my internship is killing me
So I will take an incomplete for the semester.
My first placement did not want me
Seriously
They deemed me “too sick”
I was hospitalized, a mental health inpatient
A few weeks before school started
My private psychiatrist dismissed/discharged me
Because she thought I was too sick
She wanted me to have an intensive case manager
And I was sent to the clinic….
The clinic…that my grad school paperwork said….
That I was to internship at…
So this clinic was given all of my info
But I canceled my appointment
Anyways, I had my interview
I was told the placement was “competitive”
I was hung on the line to dry for weeks
And then, over the phone
He asked if I ever made an appointment with the agency
I said yes…
“Sorry, I cannot offer you a placement”
At this point I got him to admit it was because of my medical record
I asked him what he told my school…
At this point I reminded him on the finer points of HIPAA
So now…I am interning at a fine institution
(and my doctor let me back into her practice)
A recovery focused out patient treatment center
For MICA and PTSD clients
Mostly a group focused interventions
However, it is mainly an outpatient DAY treatment Center
A partial hospitalization for the severely mentally ill
A few months ago
It was suggested to me
That I should go into day treatment
Instead of grad school
Did I make the right choice?
I have been doing well
Getting good grades
Meeting new people
Doing well at the internship
Until now….
I am overwhelmed
I have panic attacks
I think everyone hates me
My grades suck
And I am now emotionally fragile
I have an unbelievable amount of school work
(My sane classmates are going crazy)
I have started to flake out (forget to do school work)
And I am starting to feel self-destructive
Yesterday, I hid in my intern office for a while
I’ve had two patients decide they liked me
Kidnap me and lock-me-in-a-box kind of like me
From someone who has a criminal record of such
So I am thinking….
I might actually suck as an MSW
I cannot concentrate
I either sleep too much, or not enough
I feel out of control
I am feeling too sick to do this
posted by Ladyk73 at 9:51 PM
2 Comments:
For my first field placement (which was an assignment and not a choice), they sent to interview at the local Marine base brig (80% drug addicts & 20% child sexual predators). I told my MSW program that I was attempting to stay away from prisons, but they were not interested. So, I went to the interview, didn't tell them I was a 2nd Yr. Resident in Psychiatry & recovering from chemotherapy, just basically told them I wasn't enthused at the prospect, but if I had no choice... Not only did they reject me, but they dogged me to the MSW program; telling them I had a "bad attitude," did not act like "professional," and even took issue with how I was dressed! The MSW program then felt compelled to jump on the "dogwagon" and threatened not to offer me another placement, meaning I would be a year behind my class. I remembered that the reason I applied in the 1st place was to enjoy myself and the intellectual stimulation, so I chilled.
I'm thinking the only people who actually suck as MSW interns are those who think they actually know what they're doing. MSW programs are very selective (most receive 2-3 times more applications than they can accept), and they wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't believe you could make it. The first semester is the worst! Deep breaths!
Did the social work school know you already worked in a prison? Dumb asses...
They must of known you were a doctor?????
You are such an intersting character...
Thank you for commenting on my blog!
Post a Comment
<< Home