Thursday, December 06, 2007

Yeah....

I am not dealing with anything well.
I am freaking out, thinking I may have a more injured arm
I dunno...It feels so unnatural.
I feel a river dripping inside.
My hand is swelled and I cannot move my fingers much
Just seems unsettling.
If It were not my dominate hand, I would not be so worried

I called the doctors office at 8:30PM
I told them what happened and that I was worried that my hand swelled up.
I don't make diagnosises over the phone....call the office in the morning...click....

I asked him if it was normal to have a hand swell considering what happened. I did not mean to ask him for his advice in that matter. I was actually kind of freaking out, and wondered if I should go to the ER or something. I was not sure...so I called the on-call person.

The experience just made me feel like crap. I didn't mean to bother anyone..I just didn't want to go to the ER for a stupid reason, and I did not want to find out later that I was stupid for not doing anything for a hand that was swelling significantly in the last few hours. Also my bruise was getting bigger.

I know this is mostly just anxiety. I really want to see my doctor cause he is very patient with me. I usually begin my appointments..."I know this might just be anxiety but....."

I know it gets annoying for doctors to get these kinds of calls, but I was concidering an ER or urgent care place...and it was only 8:30. I would not call at 10pm or anything.

The whole experience makes me feel shameful. And loser like. I suck...I suck at everything I do.

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