Fear

As I grew older, my fears change. As an example, I have a healthy fear of UNSECURED heights. My fears have become more logically based, perhaps. I have things that I don’t like, but are not true fears. I have a strong dislike for open spaces, like a big field. I am not afraid them, I would just prefer to walk in the woods. However, I am not a huge fan of boating on the great lakes and much as the rivers. But sailing across the ocean…frightens me. Unless it was on a big ship. Not many people think about sailing across the ocean. However, my friend did just that. 45Foot sailboat, helping friends, on the Pacific. They only got 1/3 of the way before trouble. Something broke, and they headed back to MEXICO. I also have a fear of swimming near seaweed. Anyways…
I try to challenge my fears. I have always been afraid of giving blood. There was a blood drive at school. I waltzed in. They took my name and other data, the prick….They have me on the chair, tourniquet on, iodine applied, Vein marked. Then I saw tubes, and someone else’s blood donation. The blood drained from my face. I just told myself to relax. Then I broke into a sweat, my stomach turned, I got dizzy…… Um….I told the tech (who seriously was not very reassuring to the newbie, who stated they were afraid, while she untangled and dangled all the tubes on my legs and body) I didn’t feel so good. She told me to relax, yesh….. I did not pass out, because they quickly tiled my head back and gave me juice. I was shaking. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and wimpy. I guess I am still afraid to give blood. Thankfully I have an uncommon/not much in need blood type (B+). But I feel like such a dork. I am too much of a wimp to give blood.