My life....

Is my life moving one step forward, two steps back?
This has been a hard year.
After one whole FUCKING year
I am still depressed
A FUCKING year!!!!!

Exhausting
I am tired
And sad
And trying to fight hopelessness
Trying to force myself to go on

I started Grad school orientation
I talked too much
I was one of the few people
That may not be accepted by their field placement.

I felt obligated to register for a course
That is a volunteer, EIC project (free tax filing)
I am sure I am the only person in the school
That has ever been paid to do a tax form
I begged the scholorship coordinator for money
And am trying to see if I can work as a GA somehow
But....I really don't think I will be able to handle
The classload, and working.

Stress
A little bit of stress
And I crumble
Just move forward

I just was hospitalized
I am now going to school
It is exciting

I just wished I didn't some home
To find my heart broken and empty every day