Friday, November 16, 2007

Don't Ask, Don't Tell....

The last couple of days
I have been considering
Telling the psychologist at my internship
That I am bipolar
There is something about Psychologists
That make me think they can diagnosis me
From across the room
As if I am walking around
With my underwear showing
I just worry about getting unstable
And making a complete ass of myself
I was feeling kind of crazy the other day
I think I am on as much drugs as the clients there

It was weird, I was reading a flyer in the lunch room
One about mania, and I went through the list
And evaluated myself (as anyone would do)
And they got all serious on me
About the symptoms of mania
And I sort of mentioned my dad being bipolar
And watching him psychotically manic
And then the psychologist said…well than…
Suddenly, there was a story
About a woman who had a stripper/ Tupperware
Grilling road kill in the drive way

I didn’t tell anyone I am bipolar
(borderline, major depression reoccurring…whatever)

One the professors at school
Wanted to talk to me after class
About a horrible lab I handed in
Being late for class
He asked what was going on
I started crying
And just said something about being depressed
He wants me to redo the lab
I think I might need to talk to someone about this
Maybe him
Cause I need to talk to someone about how to deal
With being on both sides of the desk
So to speak

No one knows yet
There was actually a peer of mine
From the mental self help group
In an AA meeting
That the members graciously allowed me to attend
The meeting is held at my placement
With no staff involvement of course
They were inspirational


Blogger Midwife with a Knife said...

I think it would be a good idea, if there were someone who you had a repiore with at your job, maybe who also had a mental illness to talk to. Someone who could reassure you that you weren't obviously manic/ill/etc at times, and talk to you about it kindly and help to get you back on track when you are.

Then again, I don't know much.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Ladyk73 said...

I just told my secret to everyone....

I feel so weird

9:53 PM  

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