Friday, May 30, 2008

My body is out to get me

I feel so stupid. The most embarrassing thing happened to me today. I was at Physical Therapy and the therapist was moving my hips and I farted. I wanted to crawl under a rock. The people next to me were laughing. The PT guy was very professionally cool about it, but oh my god. I wanted to hide under a rock. Then I was all feeling good and stretched out. And than I went to sears and bought dirt. I didn’t realize that this particular bag was so heavy. So all that PT for nothing.
I feel so stupid in so many ways. I’ve been temping at an accounting department in a huge assisted living/skilled nursing/etc… company. All of the ladies in this office are beautiful. Skinny, perfect, professional…with their perfect lives. The fact that these people are all so beautiful…..kind of makes me feel ugly. I feel like a dumpy ugly girl next to these women. And they all eat salads and work out and blah blah…. With their perfect this and that.
I just feel stupid.
I think I may have been able to apply for a job at this place, but I think I would have crumbled. I just have a hard time working 40 hours a week. I was doing very tedious stupid shit. A boring job….it would either be mindless, of completely crazy. I actually knew my “boss” before I started. We were in some business networking program thing together. I remember liking her, but not really messing with her. I think I would strangle her if I worked for her. She is very very very good at her job, but she would still drive me bat shit crazy.
I have three more days. Then the dreaded trip to see the brother. I panic during trips and vacations and stuff. I just do…. It sucks. But Seattle will be beautiful.

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