Thursday, June 28, 2007

polycystic ovarian syndrome


My labs came back
I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome

So I now being sent for a fasting glucose and insulin
Tests tomorrow

Can I just pound my head...
Over and over and over again

So which came first...
The PCOS or the Bipolar II????

Can I just scream! And cry?
So everyone can point to me...
And tell me I am going to get diabetes
Heart Disease, and strokes

It is all my fault!
Which came first?
The obesity or the PCOS?

A loopity loop loop loop

I feel like a loser
It is all my fault, right?
I would be okay if I just ate right

Having PCOS seems as stigmatizing as mental illness

I would say my womanly issues
Started when I was a skinny minny
And exercised like a freak
I didn't get my period, for a year
And thought I was just exercising too much.

I feel really angry
That having hypoglycemia
Makes me at risk for getting diabetes

It makes me mad
That everyone will point at me
And tell me I am going to have heart disease
Even though my blood pressure is 110/70.

Low Blood pressure

I don't get it

I just feel
like a tub of lard

I don't get how they will treat my excessive
With more estrogen
Last time I went on the pill
I became nearly psychotic

I am just so deflated

See....good people get sick and have cancer
Things happen to "good people"

See....I am not a person who 'got' bipolar
I "AM" Bipolar
I am something....bad

It seems the PCOS is in the same league
Whatever I did in my life, caused this
It is my fault cause I ate a cookie

Stigma is evil
I feel like this stuff is all my fault
I ate too many cookies
That is why my life sucks this much

I am crabby
A hypoglycemic on a fast

I am going to bang my head against the wall again


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