Saturday, November 24, 2007

Moral my butt....

So.....As a student "intern"
I am bound by my future professions code of ethics
And in that code...there is language about emotional stability
And the moral responsibility
Of not "treating" people when I am mad

No, not the mad of anger
The mad of florid thought

At my internship
I kept finding myself
pushed against the wall
about my own health concerns

I am a peer advocate in the 'community'
And as I thought...someone who was my "peer"
Came walking into my internship
For one of out afternoon workshops


And a couple weeks ago I broke down in front of my prof
He grilled me about what was going on with me
My A papers have all turned to C papers
So....I talked opened up
And told him about being a little depressed...

Which led to a huge discussion
About the obligation to tell my future supervisors
About my illness (if I am going to work with people with the same illness)
It just seems like another way to stigmatize me
Supervision is suppose to help with vicarious traumatization
So it maybe...makes sense
But it always feels like crap

After talking to the peer employee at my internship
And my supervisor....scolded me
Perhaps cause I had an expression like I was busted

Later that day
I told him
That I was bipolar/major depressive recurring (whatever)
And that my Prof told me to tell him

So now...
my Field educator
And my prof
(who I will have TWO classes with next semester)
will know I am a freak

A breathless Freak


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