Sunday, August 03, 2008

I am not ready....

I am not ready to leave my parent's nest. Of course I live in my own house, and take my parent's advice with a grain of salt. (what does that really mean...grain of salt?)

Anyways, my mother needs to see a doctor. I have been begging her....for a year. My mother is embarrassed to go, I think, because she drinks and she smokes. She has tried to quit smoking, but not successfully. But, she should just go to the doctor.
My mother likes to drink wine, obsessively. Yes, she is an alcoholic. Like many woman, her addiction may be not seen as severe because she drinks at home, and does not cause "trouble." She drinks maybe a bottle of wine a day, 4 drinks?
Or is it more?

My mother has lost a TON of weight in the last year. Is it "unexplained weight loss?" I don't know. She drinks more and eats less. She has been drinking more, because her back hurts. My mother has a hard time walking now.

Just three years ago, my mom was helping me paint my house. Now she needs to rest after going grocery shopping. But the worst thing...

She seems to have a grey cast. I see this color on her, when she is drunk. For some reason she seems more healthy in the morning. I don't know.

I have suggested that she see my doctor, as her doctor is kind of mean. He is the perfect doctor for my dad, but not my mom. My parents and I see doctors from the same practice. So I have seen there doctor once when I was sick. He can be overbearing.

My Doctor has the greatest bed side manner. I have actually gotten two of my friends to go to him. The other day I think I was closer to getting my mother to go. She said she was scared of being forced to get certain tests. I told her that it was her body, and my doc is great about that.

I hope she goes. I am really worried. I can name the things I worry about, but I just don't want to say them out loud. The things that may be linked to her bad choices.

I am not ready to be the caretaker. I have already had a taste of that once, when my Dad got really sick. He is doing better, His diabetes is getting worse, but he has already been threatened with the needles. So he cleaned the kitchen of cake and cookies.

I am just worried. I don't want to worry about them yet. They are just 65....


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