Sunday, October 14, 2007

Dates? Not just figs....

I haven't been on a date in months.
Almost a year.

I get this yearning...any time I see a couple, or a cute guy that flirts with the girl sitting next to me (okay...that was just the other day, and the girl had a rock the size of a meteor on her most symbolic finger).

I have wondered if I have been caught in the "I would only be happy if....." I had a boyfriend. I have been known to use this thinking (about buying a house, a new car, a washing machine, going to grad school, a new job)as a way of denying or dealing with my internal angst, my biological based (but highly environmentally influenced) mental illness. However, Alot of those things have been thoughtful planning on future happiness and purchases to deal with stressors.

You may wonder how a washing machine and dryer can be a thoughtful purachse to deal with stressors......until you have dragged three baskets of laundry up to a second story apartment and in the frostiest of winters.

And the house? It has been a wonderful positive influence on my life. My house is cozy and comfortable, if a bit cluttered, and my garden gives me hours a joy. Not to mention the antidepressant effects of pretty flowers, soil, and butterflies.

What was I writing about?

Oh I am thinking about renewing my on-line subscription.

See...I am surrounded by females and very young undergrads at school...and well....
All of my friends are pretty much coupled. Hard to be single.

I am not sure if I have the time, or if I am ready....
Speaking of time.....I should be studying....


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