Saturday, February 02, 2008

296.32; 296.89; 301.83 GAF 50

I have been trying not to fall into another major depression. I've been exhausted, crying, and isolating. Yesterday, I dragged myself to my internship. I even had to run a group. I had a conversation with field educator about dropping out of school. He knows I am bipolar, but I shared a little more, and told him I didn't think I was well enough to be in school. He told me that I was talented and that I should stick with it. That was nice.

I gave up on trying to do school work thsi weekend. I just feel so negative about it all. I am exhausted and struggling to get through the day "as is".
Wow, it is 9PM and I am exhausted!
This is depression, clinical. I have been having suicidal thoughts but they have been managable and fleeting. I haven't sunk too deep, and part of it, is just trying to have 'fun.' Instead of forcing myself to do homework, I am forcing myself to crochet. It is helping.

I need to call the doctor, and move my appointment up. Wow I cannot believe I am so freaking tired.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ethically, someone feeling like you do, should really not be in the mental health profession - at this time! Until you receive some, what seems to me, much needed help! Your teacher, despite seemingly well-meaning and boosting your self-esteem and possibly telling the truth, did not give you the best advice, if what you said he said is indeed all he said:)
I don't know how old your comment was, but I pray you will find the help you need and "do no harm" in the meantime to self, clients, and the mental health profession!

12:13 PM  

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