Time Warner is stupid

I have never HEARD of Verizon FiOS until the dumb-ass Time Warner people kept advertising about why they are so much better!!!! Hm... Maybe I will check into it!

Guilt vs. The right to take care of myself

I called in “sick” today, for my internship. The quotation mark around “sick,” is a means to quantify or qualify what is “sick.” I have many a chronic illness and have even been declared as “disabled” by governmental agencies (although I am not on SSI or SSD), but that is an entirely different event all together.
I am “sick” as I have an acute illness. I have a raging sinus infection that has required the administration of potent antibiotics. I have even had a fever a few days ago! But all in all….. I am less sick today that in the last few days. Yet…TODAY!!!! I called in sick.
Why? Cause I am sick of being sick. I have been sick on and off since December 20th. And by far more sick days then well.
So I called in sick today…and I feel guilty. I feel like I am playing hooky from work. Oh yeah, the work in which I am NOT compensated for, and in fact are paying for the opportunity. Now I am not complaining in the sense that I understand the role of the intern. I understand, maybe more than others. I will happily do great feats of grunt work for the opportunity to learn. However, I have found myself coming to academic stagnation. I have come to the point into which I think often…..”Why?”
“But why?”
My internship is in a big academic/trauma/county medical hospital. Often times, I come across the answer “we have always done it this way.” Okay…..”But why?”
And sometimes those “whys” and “we have always done it this way” have been mandates from the legislators on the hill. Sometime’s those “whys” are based on the imperfect system in which certain entities are allowed to profit, while others drown in unfunded or underfunded mandates.
But the why’s that piss me off are of the ones that emerge from inter-departmental mudslinging. Ones in which my financial/ administration background recognize as interdepartmental bullshit. And being in a department that has often been the dumping ground of said bullshit.
So anyways, I find myself in a position in which I feel I have the courage to say “NO!” In the most compassionate way possible. I at times become frustrated by the fact that me…as the little itty bitty intern (or STUDENT-to not be confused with intern doctors) have been able to get things done. I have decided to take on those annoying cases. Cause…trust me, I know how it feels to be burned out. I’ve been there.

Anyways, I fin d myself still in the guilty frame of mind. I called in sick. I called in sick, because I am sick of being sick. And there is a part of me that recognizes that if this was a “real” job,. I would have come in. If my presence somehow mattered. But I know that half the time I am just in the way. Anyway. I still feel guilty.
Anyways…I really am sick. And part of my internship, I am being graded as been professional and present. I am not blowing off my internship. I am even using this time to arrange a list of things I would like to discuss with my field educator…THINGS I WANT TO DO AN LEARN. Anyways….
I still feel guilty.

My head hurts!

I went to the doctor, he actually had me get x-rays of my sinuses. As I was sick just three weeks ago (no two weeks ago!) I was worried about always getting sinus infections after someone at the hospital sneezed on me!

Anyways, two days after my doctors appointment, I keep getting worse. I had to wait a day for the x-ray results...anyways. The nurse calls me and askes me all sorts of questions and gets my pharmacy number. I got my expected nose steriod spray, and an antibotic.

Um...OMG!

Levaquin?

...and they tell me I don't look sick....

Sick sick sick

I am sick of being sick!

My coworkers at the hospital were sick as shit. The intern came in to save the day! No surprise, I am sick as shit now. Started with a fever, muscle aches and chills. Then I grew neon orange snot! My snot has decided to go with a fashionable brownish green. I have a sinus infection...of what sort? I have no idea. I just had a sinus infection! Last night I woke up every ten minutes after coughing myself to death. Anyways, I should probably see my doc. What pises me off? everyone says I don't look sick! WTF!

Oh...and I start my first day of school. sick as shit....

I must admit, I am a medical blog junkie. It started with shrinkrap, a blog I stumbled upon while doing research on some random topic for school. I then found links to other mental health providers, Foofoo (one of my favorite bloggers). Then I stumbled upon other health providers like bongi, Dr. Rob, and Midwife with a knife. Then…I stumbled on docs and nurses from the ER life whitecoat and Nurse K…and then I stumbled upon some very bitter and over the top writings like MDOD….
At times I got annoyed at some docs complaining about charity care and non-urgent ER visits. At then many stories were read about drug seekers, people who go to the ER for a band-aid, and the “Medicare bank.” I have been accused of being a bleeding heart liberal. I like to say I am tolerant. I try to be tolerant of existing in a troubled world, and yes I went to social work school to try to change it a little. As I have been an accountant and managing a finance office of a medical clinic, I know a wee bit about medical finances.
So anyways…
I am bitter and pissed off. I am pissed off at the government, insurance providers, other health agencies, the administration, the family members, and the god-damn patients!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am mad, angry, and waiting for a fight. I am interning as a discharge planner in the inpatient acute rehab (think physical therapy) of a level one trauma center.
Thing that piss me off:
Patients who think that the hospital is a hotel: Many of our patients need handicap assessable housing or home modifications to return to the community safely. We do everything in our power to ensure that this can happen. We order DME (equipment) and have it delivered to their house! Our therapists will go to the home to do a professional evaluation. We will make sure people have Medicaid. We will ensure they have an income (ssi) We will even secure an apartment for people! But! There are always a couple of people who think that the hospital is a hotel with maid service! One of these wonderful hospital tourists complained to us because they had a semi-private room! UGH!!!! Some patient had their 6 year old daughter stay the night! WTF! The administration is even involved with these cases!
Asshole family members: Seriously, one more complete spinal cord injury patient’s husband, or mother who thinks Suzy is going to walk home …ugh! One more stupid mother**king family member who give there peg tubed and trached loved one a big drink of water cause they look thirsty! Ugh!!!!!! I can understand if the patient like asked for a glass of water…but gee, when you keep giving your dad glasses of water after multiple times that he had choked and almost code, after how many teaching moments….when we have to supervise family members….people should go byebye.
Nursing homes: Of course! You don’t have any Medicaid beds!! You are evil you know. All of you are evil.
Medicaid: you pay for so many things! Yeah! Yippie! But no one takes you! Boo! Seriously, can we charge some copays? Like….hm….$5 for a medical transport, $25 for a ER visit, how about $100 for having a baby? Sure Outpatient visits can be free (I am down with that!), prescriptions can be free! But seriously, can someone buy their own damn cough syrup (or even a little bitty copay!) Can we have copays to encourage responsible healthcare usage? And then we can have waiver programs (to waive fees) when people are sick as crap and cannot afford cough syrup?
Customer service: I’ve been on hold for 20 min and you just told me to hang up and call the person who just told me to call you!!!!
Anyways, I will do all in my power to make your discharge as smoothly as possible. I will be pissed as hell on your behalf when you get screwed over… I will listen to you complain, I will even order a horse driven chariot for your travel home. All I ask…..
Go to therapy some of the time. Don ‘t scream at the staff or your relatives ( and if you are altered in any way we will forgive you immediately with a big smile). No drug dealing on the floor. Take a shower when it is offered. But please….when we fix you…..GO HOME!!!!