Keeping buzy....

But still very sad

I am so Fucking Lonely

The fight against entropy

Still looking for a job…it blows…anyways
I am engaging in multiple projects with various successes
Most are garden related.
Leaves leaves leaves
Seeds seeds seeds (I am collecting them)

And weeds weeds weeds
The biggest weed I grow…is grass (no… not that grass!)
Grass is wonderful, it is soft, feels like a carpet, and has a pleasing green color…
Except when you have a little patch that is less than two feet wide.
I hated mowing that bit….the part that merged with the end of my drive way. I have stones for a driveway (I topped the original crushed stone with pretty river stones). The border between grass and driveway was always up for negotiation… And well…mowing over stones was always uncertain activity.

So…I am creating a path…
I have collected various natural and unnatural stone pavers. And don’t ask about the 500 hundred or so pounds of scrap granite I have that may have been legally or illegally obtained. (Okay…I live near a “removal” company that turns old concrete into fill… that happens to be down the street from a kitchen cabinet installer that disposes of 3-5 inch scraps of granite counter tops. I could not let it become “aggregate”).
Being wise and resourceful….I took my sometimes trusty rotor tiller (it is older than me!), primed it with starter (didn’t I say it was older than me?) and gave a good pull.
*putt putt* “”bbbrrrrrrggggggggg….pop...poop…snooze”
Crap, maybe it was too cold, try again.
*putt putt* “”bbbrrrrrrggggggggg….pop...poop…snooze”
Maybe it needs new gas (added one molecule….gas can empty).
One more try….
*putt putt* “”bbbrrrrrrggggggggg….pop...poop…snooze”
All of this effort, and I have a 1 foot hole in the middle of the targeted grass.
Ugh!
Armed with a shovel, a wagon and a dream…..
The grass is now gone!
(Photo of the grass that once was....long ago)

When confidence hits a stop sign

Trying to look for a job is kind of like 10 mminute dating...run by old ladies wearing babushkas. Both job hunting, and dating are a like it that: there is a sense of mystery and hope, you dress up in your fancy clothes, you try to talk about your past "relationships" in the most positive way possible, you may do something completely stupid (like loosing your pen, or likie spitting at the person), and the chances are fairly high that there will be a lot of rejection.
Employers aometimes send you letters, like a date may send a "it'd me, not you" e-mail. Some employers never call, even if they flirted with you enough to ask for your number. Either way...,you tend to get into these tizzies as you think "should I call them?" or would that scare them away? Or you think "if they like me, they will call," while you get pressured from friends (and vocational councelors) that you would be silly not to call!

I*am*sick*of*it*all

Sunshine and pumpkins

Today was a beautiful day. I did not go outside to play. I had a job interview!!! Yeah!!! It wasn't an uber exciting one. An outpatient substance abuse clinic. Individual counceling. Hmmm...um... Even though I have been properly trained in this sort of thing, I am not sure if this sort of thing is my cup a tea. Hmmmm....

I am fighting a bug of some sort. A tickle in the back of my throat, being tired...malaise. I haven't managed to get any house work done either.

I was going to write more, but really, who wants to hear about my weird health issues? I am just tired.