I can here their little screams!

We have had a very wet summer.
With damp gardens, you get damp pests.
Last year the Japanese Beetles ate my garden....
This year it is slugs!

I have little ones, big ones
Yellow ones, brown ones...
Some are all one color
Some spotted...
All have their cute little eyes!!!
The eyes to find my garden with!

The wet weather has made lots of things grow
Weeds seem to grow a foot in the night
So there has been lots of things for the little
homeless snails to eat....

But when you sit on your grass
And realize your knee has....
oh my...slime
Gross!

So, A couple of bottles
Of Molsen Canadian will do
Beer
Beer=Slug
Slugs like beer...alot
And the little boogers....
The poor things
Drown it it

I hate killing things
But this has made me
Morbidly curious

After an hour
I have like 20 slugs
And watching the slugs
On route to their demise

I hope they have a happy drunk death

Random rant

I am a sleepy girl; I mean woman, at my temp job.
I have caught up on the work that I am “allowed” to do.
Actually, I was going to do the bank rec,
But the person, who is out sick, wants to do it.
She had a stroke; she is going to try it from home.

Whatever…
Perhaps it will be good therapy.
Seriously, Good for her (and me!)
I am sure I can find some accounting type stuff to do.

I lost it yesterday,
I cried in the upstairs lunch room at this job.
The attic…it’s an old house…turned into a law office,
I cried over a doctor’s appointment

See…I missed it.
I knew I had an appointment…
I was working and then mid morning I looked at my calendar
And realized it was 15 minutes ago.
Then I tried to call, and their phone lines were down
I ended up crying.

Not over this, really.
Over the fact that I cannot get my shit together.
I keep missing appointments,
Forgetting to pay bills.

I am just a cognitive disaster.

I cried to my Mom.
And told her they will probably kick me out of the practice
Or charge me $50
The first thing my Mom asked was…
If I forgot to take my medications…

Yeah, sometimes I forget that too!

I am not sleeping well,
And I am very stiff,
And sore,
My body is a mess.
And my leg is shaking as I type this…
I am exhausted…
Yet, my leg is the little energizer bunny

(By the way, I wonder who thought of that little bunny…
And I wonder if they are in some tropical island
Sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them)

By the way…
School is in a month
And I am getting the round around about full time/part time
Internship issues
My doctors both want me to go full time

By the way…
I am getting very fond of Mr. Bird
The cockatiel
Remind me, I need to find his owner
Sweet Pea beats him up (but he is bigger, so…)

By the way…
My favorite bats have come back to live in the tree next door
Although…I should say bat
Last year there were two, this year one.

By the way…
I forgot what I was going to say!

So maybe.....

I AM THE BULLY

Little old me...tramping through peoples lives like a hippo
(a pretty hippo, not those mean one's in the wild)

I really just try to be a nice not-so-little girl.
Okay, maybe BIT NAUGHTY!

Speaking about bullies....

I was thinking about other bullies I met in my life.

One current stressor is the bastard lawyer that runs the firm. Today he nearly glared at me while I gave him checks to sign.

I am starting to wonder if the reason he is such an asshole, is because he feel threatened by me. The only way a little old temp like me can threaten a big bad man like him.....is......

Oh, being an accountant is a very dangerous thing. ***blink***blink****

I am only a temp...but I know everything! I know how much you and you AND YOU MAKE! I see you when you are sleeping, I know when your a wake, I know when you have had a garnishment taking out of your pay!!!

Ho ho ha ha aha ha

Seriously, I have been looking to see where those 1099's are kept. The ones where the "rent" check goes to this company, who is part owner of that company, who then splits the earnings, and then they get distributed to that company, and then they get distributed to THAT company, then it goes into the partner share holders....

And where exactly are those 1099's?

I had a bully in my garden

How does a bully end up in my garden? By pretending it is something else. I had two weeds grow to amazing heights because I ...was a very confused gardener.

Now mind you, in the two places these creatures were growing, they were in areas of the garden more populated then Manhattan. In one place, I have campunula that have taken over about an acre. Last year, I planted cleome amoung the dingle bells. I knew they had a habit of returning, year after year. So I watched this plant grow and grow:



It is virginia creeper vine. A lovely plant, but not when it is growing across your driveway!!!!


This is what Cleome leaves looks like:



And their flowers:






Today I nearly had to go to the hospital after pulling a prickly weed (with their angry leaves made up of knives) that looked like this:



I wore gloves, and was still bloodied after the engagement. How did such a evil little plant live so long in my garden? ....mind you it was almost two feet high.... It was growing next to another prickly, yet seductive plant. The leaves look like this:



The flowers like this:



Yes the passionate poppy, It may be dangerous, but it soothes all wounds.....

Doormat #2

I am a temp, I am an accounting temp.
I came to your rescue.
Your bookkeeper had a stroke
(but will be back soon)
"Thank god," you say.
You, the office manager,
Call me "Your Savior."

I have been working at your agnecy
For EXACTLY one month

I have MASTERED your computer billing system
Your staff, asks ME questions
I have held your hand
While you struggled with payroll issues
I have cleaned up the mess
That happened before my arrival
I have played my beloved balancing feats,
So you would not need your line of credit

Yet, your boss hates me
The president of the company hates me

I make less money than the receptionist.

It makes me feel like shit

Ever felt like a doormat?

I am feeling rather dumped on at the moment.

My school is being completely unreasonable about my status and my internship. They declined my request for a change to part time status. They stated it was because of the timing of my internship. If I go full time, I start my internship in a month. If I go part time I will start in January. So, I cannot go part time because of the commitments of agencies that give internship.
(so I cannot go part time because of my internship!)

WHAT MOTHERFUCKING INTERNSHIP???

You mean the internship I was assigned to, and then was sent a form letter "thank you for interviewing for this internship, however we selected another candidate."

I DID NOT GO TO ANY MOTHERFUCKING INTERVIEW!!!!

Yeah...thanks for the rejection (before you ever met me)

Mr. Bird

I am fostering a cockatiel. He is a weirdo. His name is Mr. Bird and he drives me crazy. He screams, and shakes his head all of the time. He also stinks, like he has been eating worms.

But of course he is cute, and seems to like Sweet Pea.

Someone responded to my ad...they found a cockatiel. I told them I will take care of him until his family finds him.

He is grooming my hair at the moment. Dork!

He does look awfully cute when he bobs his head.

I think I saw my baby…

Although I am not so sure. I got a response from the ad I put in the paper about my cockatiel. They said they saw a cockatiel about 4 miles south of where I live. Weirdly, just down the street from my friend. I decided to take a walk around, with no luck. Then I drove by the canal (where a cockatiel was sighted). I drove for a few miles (with no luck) and went across the bridge and turned around (going on the other side of the canal). Feeling defeated….and sad….
Oh my god there was a cockatiel on the phone line by the side of the road!
I parked (with my hazard lights) and walked under the bird. It looked like my bird. I was not positive that it was pumpkin. I talked to the bird. Was that pumpkin’s chirp? I think so! I talked and talked and sang for her to come down. He (she) didn’t look at me. Either way it was a cockatiel and it was someone’s pet. The poor bird looked beaten by the wild. I really think this is pumpkin. I wish I had a net, but I am not sure if she is on an electric wire, cable, or phone. So I would not be able to use one anyway.
Finally, the cockatiel swoops down towards me….
And right then a fucking car drives by, scaring the crap out of her!
She flies away, me trying to run after her, waiting for the damn cars to cross the street….she fly over the next house, and these fucking dogs start barking up a storm!!!!!! I can’t hear her. I walk into a back yard, the dogs still going…. Where did she go?
I talked to nice lady with the dogs (I am sure they were great dogs, I am just wishing they would have kept their mouth shut!). The lady agrees to put her dogs into the house and her and her friends help me look for the cockatiel (who I am 75% sure was my bird).
NO LUCK!
I left her my number, and dejectedly walk back to my car. I drive down towards where I thought the cockatiel went, and left a flyer with some people.
I cannot fucking believe that I can find my bird five miles from my house…And still not catch her.

I worried myself sick....

I had very little sleep the last few days. Yesterday I had a sore throat, no biggie. Until I saw the white patches.

I had my friend look in my mouth...she said "dude, you need to go the doctor." It was Saturday...so I went to the urgent care place. The nurse did a strep test.

Being medical training month...... A PA and a student came to the room. They talked about my test being negative, and went into a speech about strep being not being very contagious (very bubbly and nice way of telling me I wasn't very sick)....the speech that starts with taking an Advil (while looking into my ears).....

And I open up wide and her face drops...she suddenly changes to concern.....and steps back if I had the plague. I told her "Yeah, I thought I may have had Thrush."

I told her I did not feel very sick, just really run down. That I had not been getting sleep, that I just lost a beloved pet....

I know that healthy people do not get thrush. I told her I once got thrush when I first started Advair. We agreed that in my stress I may have forgotten to rinse. She gave me some diflucan and told me to see my doctor.

I know, could I been HIV positive (I have multiple negative tests), but more likely, diabetes? Could I have the weird blood/immune that Clozaril takers get tested for? I am on Seroquel.

Like I needed fuel for my hypochondria issues....
If any med folks read this (Foofoo?) tell me if I should be worried....

Was it?

I heard a bird call that sounded like a cockatiel. It could have been Sweet pea, and some strange acoustics. So.....Right now sweet pea is on the porch singing (in his huge cage of course).

My Pumpkin baby...

Is gone!

This morning at the crack of dawn...I sat under a tree and talked to my cockatiel as he sung a sweet song to the sun. I know he saw me, and talked to me for some time. Then he flew to the next tree...and the next...

I did not want to chase him, for fear he would go farther and farther away, and not know where to come home.

He has not come home.

This evening his cage mate and I sat on the porch waiting for him to return. He didn't.

It is just a bird....people say. But he is my baby. He is still a baby. He would sit on my shoulder, and try to eat out of my mouth, and drop his head so I can pet him.

I just hope he is alive and happy.
I have handed out flyers and called his name into trees. I will call the spca, the animal warden, take out a classified ad....

I am heartbroken. Yes, I crying over my bird...

My cockatiel

Pumpkin is outside. Not quite lost, as I know what branch he is sleeping on...but out of reach and perhaps gone forever?

5:30 is when the sun rises....

It will rain soon....

The forecast declared a 40% chance of rain. I have just increased the probability two-fold by watering my garden. I also spread special hand dried poop upon the followers. I'll admit I have no idea if it is "hand dried." I am not sure how one normally dries poop...oh never mind. Between the natural mix of dried poop and other dead things, and miracle grow for the potted flowers and sad looking annuals...my garden had a feast.

I have things growing in my garden that I don't remember planting. Or if I remember planting it, I don't remember what it is.... I have pretty purple stuff growing. I was afraid my gaura had died, but they sprinted to the sky this week. I have big ass shasta daisies across the way from the wild ones I picked from a field. Of course, now I have snap dragons growing in the driveway.....

One of the interesting things that are popping up in my garden is......Corn! I have corn among the flowers. I think the squirrels planted it from my winter corn cob offerings. I have sunflowers from the bird feeder and some that traveled great distances. I am torn about pulling up the corn.

The most strangest thing happened today. My neighborhood does not have many cats. However, in the last few weeks I have seen two scurrying about. One as black as night, and one with patches of white, black, and grey. Well both decided to have a stand off in my flower bed. I heard the baby-cry screams, and watched with great interest from my window. They wrestled each other to the ground, and rolled together in somersaults. Interestingly how they butt heads together in an almost intimate fashion before beating the crap out of each other.


I am off to bed...is that thunder in the background?